Learnings

One of the things that I do every now and again, usually before I go to bed, is to ask myself what my recent learnings have been. A lot of them have related to my failed marriage, a few to my work and colleague, quite a few have been focused on my family. I don’t necessarily reach astounding conclusions or provoke new ideas or ways of seeing intractable problems, but occasionally my musings let me see things in different ways. Which I usually then forget.

Today’s learnings were odd ones. I realise that I would have made a poor judge in the case of OJ Simpson because I would have lynched OJ’s defence team and personally issued invective after the high profile (and undoubtedly highly paid) forensic science experts that were hired to demolish the prosecution case. These eminent gentlemen went on the found the much vaunted ‘innocence project’ which has now been given the BBC treatment in one of their worst offerings in living history.

The other learning du jour concerned the ways in which those who are often cast or celebrated for their emotional intelligence and humanitarianism are actually capable of breathtaking acts of insensitivity. But, these acts often go relatively unremarked because the individual concerned has been very adept at promoting their emotional literacy and their caring. The rest of us mere mortals who bungle around desperately trying not to hurt people’s feelings but who fail to engage in the open display of caring often miss a trick. And there is absolutely no market any longer for straight shooters – even when those people also actively work to be careful in the ways in which they treat people.

The department I work in has a real problem that could cost us dearly in the longer term because my Head of Department cannot deal with conflict. Last week I asked for a different member of staff to do my appraisal. What would be the first question you would ask in such a situation? Think about it. Well, it was never asked. So I am given a new appraisor but the reasons for my request were not asked for and I felt somewhat uncomfortable in stating them without being asked because that would place me in an awkward light when as far as I am concerned, the professor concerned is inept. This is pretty much evident to all who have eyes to see and ears to hear, but there is great reluctance for her incompetence to be raised. Now, this is partly to do with the nature of academia and the long standing problem of performance and the ways in which poor performance is managed. The other, possibly more pertinent reason could lie in the professor’s research area, which is bullying and harassment. Given that these terms are often seen as being self-defined and therefore not always open to reliance rational conceptualisation or range of definitions, you can see the problem. How easy it is for faculty claims of quite frustrating performance to be turned back on the person(s) who issue them or raise the problem as being an instance of bullying.

And, of course, if you work in this area, you are almost deemed to be dwelling amongst the emotionally literate. Well, that might be possible, but it hasn’t stopped this wretched woman wasting my time and intellectual energy for hours on end. One day I shall say, one day…probably the day I leave!